Reader, I Married Him

You let me tell you all about my Thein Sein / Aung San Suu Kyi fanfic concept.

I was bent over the sink brushing my teeth while you leaned against the radiator, waiting for your turn.

“If this were a frat-boy comedy, I’d be losing my towel right about now.”

“No way is our life a frat-boy comedy.”

“So what genre of movie is it?”

” … sci-fi dystopia?”

Although I’d been up early, I couldn’t quite wind my day down. As you showered and changed and got ready for bed, I kept finding just one more piece of work to do.

Eventually you got into bed and propped yourself up so you could see me. From time to time I’d look up and you’d glance over at me with a smile.

After a while, I looked over and your head was nodding. A bit later, and you’d nestled down into your pillow with your eyes closed. Later still, there was gentle snoring.

I guess it got late.

“Can I post a nasty question to Lev’s reddit AMA?”

“No, girl, you can’t.”

“But I really, really, really hated his book.”

“I know you did.”

“And I want to understand how someone can write that book without realizing what it reveals about him as a human being.”

“I know you do.”

“So please can I write a nasty question?”

“Darling girlfriend, is it going to change anyone’s mind?”

“… no.”

“Is it going to make the world a better place?”

“… no.”

“So are you going to do it?”

“… fine. No.”

I love you even when you stop me from being a troll.

You read Boing Boing so I don’t have to.

“I overheard you talking about your new project with Rob,” you confessed, “and I was kind of jealous you didn’t talk about it with me. Then I remembered that when you don’t tell me things, it’s usually because you’ve forgotten that I don’t already know them. I guess it’s less annoying than when I tell you things three times because I’ve forgotten I have already told you.”

Actually, I love it when you tell me things three times!

We were studying mishna together in honor of the holiday, and we came across a passage explaining that you can kill a would-be murderer in order to save a life. It was my turn to read and I happened to say the Hebrew word out loud: rodef.

“Rodef,” you said. “Isn’t that the justification the guy who murdered Rabin used? I can’t believe we came across it right here in the text.”

I love your surprise and delight when our studying connects to the real world, even when it’s a real-world tragedy.

“What kind of pie should I make for Shavuot?”

“I like apple,” I said.

“I like key lime,” Amy said.

“I like DOZENS OF KINDS OF PIE!” Rob said.

You made three pies.

“It’s almost 2pm. You’d better have your Thai iced tea now, because I’m not dealing with a heavily caffeinated Jess tonight.”

You make delicious Thai iced tea, but the best part? If you had to deal with a caffeinated Jess, you would.

On our mailing list, our friends were batting around fake personal ads, manhunt style, for famous sci-fi and fantasy characters. But the ones you wrote were the funniest.